The English
Language Lesson

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Beware of heard, a dreadful word
That looks like beard and sounds like bird.

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the
same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

Reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English:

1) I did not object to the object.

2) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

3) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

4) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

5) The farmer could produce produce.

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns down,
in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And that is just the beginning
even though this is the end.